| Just when you think you have life figured out suddenly you get served a curve ball. I remember as if it were yesterday the tenderness I felt in my breast as my youngest child leaned against me. Thinking I either had breast cancer or even worse I might be pregnant… I rushed to the local grocery store to buy a pregnancy test. The thought frightened me so much that waiting until I reached home was out of the question. I am unclear as to who was in that restroom or even how many people heard my loud weeping as the test immediately went to positive. Oh it is a faulty test was my second reaction so I bought four more. Without gaining any composure or thought of what was the proper thing to do, I walked down the baby isle straight to my car with tears streaming down my face. Anger built inside of me as thoughts of how could this happen rushed through my mind. At the age of 41, how it happened was not really puzzling but how I could let it happen was. My other two children were 9 and 10; I was half way through the child business and really did not have any desire to start all over again. The first call I made was to my husband Robert, how could this be I questioned him. Weeping I told him the best news he had ever had, this would be his first natural child he was delighted and didn’t seem bothered that he was 42 and would most likely not live to see this child reach 30. Having lost twins just 4 years ago, Robert understood my hesitation and tried to comfort me and disguise the joy in his voice. He is a Tugboat Captain and is gone for four weeks at a time so really this responsibility would be totally mine and there was no joy in my heart that day. Several days passed by and I went to see my Obstetrician who immediately informed me due to my “age” I would be put into a high-risk category and would have to see a maternal fetal specialist each month. Oh great I recall thinking, one more thing to add to my list. Although they urged me to do an amniocentesis, I declined since I did not think the outcome would affect me one bit. Time passed slowly and with each day I would anticipate yet another miscarriage and heartbreak. Three months into the pregnancy I started to get excited about the baby and my daughter Madison was delighted and just knew her prayers had been answered for a baby brother or sister. It was prayer behind my back because there was no desire for me to have another child. My eldest child, Dakota seemed indifferent at first but by four months we all were excited and decorating the nursery. Time seemed to drag about and each month I had to go through such red tape at the doctors. Ultrasounds each and every time I went, but to no avail we could not find out the gender of the baby. Six months along and feeling rather hefty and always exhausted, I lumbered to the hospital for another ultra sound. My regular maternal fetal specialist was out and I had to see his partner. As we watched this little wonder move about in my tummy, Robert, Dakota, Madison and I all laughed at the hands waving and what appeared to be a giant head. The nurse took still shots of the ultra sound and then the doctor came into the room. He looked at the measurements, and then took the wand from the nurse. He moved around and looked at the baby and stopped suddenly when he went over the heart. As he called out to his assistant, my heart sank; I knew something was very wrong. The Doctor said “Does that look thick to you?” and I nearly broke my neck trying to see what was thick. I glanced at my husband and other two children and motioned for him to take them out. The doctor asked me to sit up and get cleaned off and he would be right back in. The few moments he was out of the room seemed like an eternity, I could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall and insanity was all I remember feeling. Like I was in a nightmare losing my mind. When he returned, he had a phone number of a pediatric cardiologist on a piece of paper. As he explained to me that he thought he saw something wrong with the baby’s heart, I fell -- Sarah Hartman Amite, LA |
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This website is dedicated to the parents, friends and families
of children who have been diagnosed with Down Syndrome.
Please feel free to Learn, Share and Celebrate with us!
of children who have been diagnosed with Down Syndrome.
Please feel free to Learn, Share and Celebrate with us!
We are our child's advocate in this world and the more we can share and celebrate
- the more our children will benefit!
- the more our children will benefit!
A friend shared with me, "You always learn the most from other parents." With that in mind I created this website as a way for parents like me to share our experiences, stories, celebrations, ideas and thoughts with one another.
We invite you to share your experiences and celebrate the victories of your child with Down Syndrome.
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